Feeling the Rush

So many exciting events have unfolded just within the last few days here on the ol’ crazy-ranch.  And though I have not graced the world wide web with my written compositions for quite some time, I have a strong desire to communicate tonight and at this stage of my little journey.

While my older son is counting down the days until his first grade year is complete and summer camp begins, my younger son is feeling a little unsure about what lies ahead in his scholastic future.  Preschool graduation was this afternoon.  My son played in an act of Humpty Dumpty as one of the King’s men.  He sang nursery rhymes and had some fun dancing around with this pals that he may not see anymore come Monday.  He has a very shy but yet clown-like personality which makes it hard to really predict his mood or actions….and yet sometimes, I can simply see right through to his soul.  Through the whining, I can hear if he is truly scared or nervous, in the midst of laughter and rebellion, I can feel his anxiousness or sleepiness.  So now as the school year comes to a close leaving just the normal summer activities and day-care-like school days, I can hear it in his voice when he asks “Am I starting kindergarten tomorrow?”  He is not so excited.  He is not so scared.  He is unsure.  Even though his older brother went through this two years ago and even though we went to visit his kindergarten classroom last month, he knows he will not see some friends and he knows that there will be more structure to his day and that is all he really is sure of.  I am so proud of my little guy.  He is doing far better than I thought he would and taking it in stride.

My older son has gone from a mere white belt and white karate gee to a purple belt with star and leadership uniform.  He is proud and confident and strong and knowledgeable…. except when he isn’t.  He has come such a long way from those first days of karate.  When he is that class, he stays pretty focused and has a lot of fun.  That is THE most important thing.  He is really dedicated and determined and I am so proud of him.  He is now working towards his blue belt and takes a very serious approach to his learning of the sport.  Along with Karate, Kyle also plays baseball (as well as Charlie) and piano.  When is tired or spent, I look at him and ask those questions “Are you sure you want to do this?  You don’t have to…”  The answer is always “Yes, I want to keep doing this.  I can’t stop now!  I like it!”  All the power to him….and me for that matter; on those days when even though he does not want to quit, I have to drag him.

So tonight, I take a minute to reflect on accomplishments of my children, my husband and even myself… and feel proud and thrilled as we take on new adventures, new paths, new challenges and push ourselves to the limit sometimes just to feel satisfied or to simply continue doing something because we really like it.  As I begin this new adventure of truly following through on a dream of mine, I stay positive, I stay focused, I am determined and dedicated.  And I will have fun.  I am very excited.  I am a little scared.  I am unsure.

Thanks for reading…

*Names changed for privacy

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